This may be a touchy subject for some of you, just a warning.
 As I said yesterday, I saw a guy who had OCD for 16 years and overcame it, which inspired me to talk about my phsyc stuff and talk about to share my story and help you like me to find the light.
 Ever since the first grade, I have had Hypochondria. It's when you believe you are sick or self diagnose yourself. It got so bad in third grade that I was committing truancy and my mom would have to literally drag me to class. It took six years to finally learn how to control it; a very long and hard road.
 Claustrophobia comes next. It's when I couldn't be in a confined space. I got that around the fourth grade. By that time, I had seen multiple doctors to find whats wrong with me and solve it. But, this one was hard. I would have to move my desk away from the other kids.I couldn't go into the bathroom stalls or sometimes peoples cars. It felt like the walls were coming in on me, which is a very scary thing at that age. It took me two years to learn how to control it.
 I got OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in the sixth grade. Now, before I continue, I must point something out. People misunderstand what it really is. It's when you are afraid to touch things because of germs, or when there are voices in your head telling you what to do. It hit me hard. i would always have sanitizer on my person and wash my hands constantly. I would make other people grab door handles and such. I would also fail tests, not because I didn't know anything, but because the voices told me too. I have got a grip on it now. It took maybe a year and a half to finally control it, but I do have symptoms at times.
 Now onto my depression. This started when I was little and I would be sad because of cloud cover. (seasonal depression) It defiantly surprises people when they find out that I have it. When I am depressed, i'm in a very dark place. I'm sad, fatigued, and sore. I cry without even knowing it. It can hit me anywhere at anytime, no matter the circumstances. It can also last between a hour to a whole day. I have never thought of harming myself in anyway. I usually shut people off and hide in my room and cry. This is very serious and people who know me very well know the signs and know what to do. I haven't got a grip on this one yet, but I will some day.
 Finally, my anxiety. This one is a biggy. Anxiety is when you feel over stressed, worried, shaky, and scared. I have gotten anxiety ever since I can remember. Usually what happens when I get attack is I can't breathe, I get really scared, I can't focus, and sometimes hysterical. It's a very very serious thing. Only the people closest to me know, that they either have to call my mom or sit me down and try to calm me down. Sadly, there really isn't a cure for this one. I can get attacks at random. It's a very hard thing to control, and how to learn how to control.
 Now, i'm not crazy, I'm not retarded, and I function just like any normal person would. Yes, I have some problems but doesn't everybody? I haven't found my light yet in my very long dark tunnel, but others have and will continue to do so. I hope this helps any person who is reading this that you aren't alone, and that if you talk about it, you are on the road to recovery. There is always hope.

Until next time,
Maddie
XOXO